I Don't Want To Remember

Stained blood red pieces of my soul left off the floor. The grass outside tickles my toes. My mind hurts from the outside in, my insides trying to get out, I... Send them the wrong way... Into the blood and emptiness that took so much away from me. It's hard to see, but soft to feel, the warm wet slippery remains of what was and shouldn't have been. Strands of my hair stuck between her teeth as she moves from between my legs. I have no regrets, but I loathe the pain that takes its place. Sip sip swallow. Make me come, beat my heart like a drum and break it. It's not that hard to fake it, I am, will, won't, be satisfied by my drunk pride or... Just drunk. Falling over, heading over, head over heels and... Its over. I didn't want it to end, but now I don't want to remember my member in her(breathe). I pulled off and tied up that soggy pup and sent it to the trash. I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't face the truth that was Ruth... No... What was her name again? I don't want to remember... I'd run away if I could but I'd want to come back. I mean return, of course. The intercourse was... not that great, on to dessert full of hurt and shut the fuck up you fuck up or I'll fuck you up the ass with this tall glass of whatever I want you to drink today because tomorrow, I don't want to remember. But im stuck in this loop of blood bean soup and vaginal goop. It left a weird smell on me that I can't seem to shake off. I shake off the excess; shake off the post-sex. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, just a long day" I don't know what to say. Its murderous this, bliss that I'll always never miss. And, I don't want to remember. I would look her in the eye, but I've seen deeper into her and the surface is different. I can't put my finger on it but... Shit, too late...

Parental Guidance is Advised

After much consideration, I've decided to cut the bull and kick my writing into high gear. I've had a bit of a block for the kast two months, and it recently dawned upon me that maybe I'm trying too hard to get the words right. Theoretically they ahould just flow out, right? Well... That's where things get a little dizzy. See, I find value in vulgar language. It makes writing and understanding how people feel a lot easier and it also manages to pack quite a punch when it comes to imagery. I have included some vulgar language in my writings but not nearly enough to fully depict what the state of my mind was at the time of inception. This being said, it isn't a deliverate practice that I am looking to engage in, it's something that I'm more likely to throw in for added effect without fear or inhibition. I've been trying to keep my work quiet, laid back and non-aggresive, but really that isn't as accurate a representation as I would like. The real stories that I want to tell are dark and with a few curses here and there, they seem to allow things to fall into place quite nicely. With that being said, I feel like my block will unblock itself with time and with determination, introspection and some solid hours putting pen to paper (or typing, really). Like most ideas though, this one didn't come from nowhere. I recently reread a poem I wrote at the end of 2013 (i think) and I recognised a part of me that had been hidden since then. As a thank you to my vulgar self three years ago, I'll let you guys read that poem now. Enjoy!